You also know that I am a faithful member of the LDS church, and that's not going to change. And, the LDS church has a reputation for being slightly homophobic among other communities.
So, you might ask, how does an LDS girl like me come to be a straight ally? How does she reconcile that with her beliefs, and not only with her beliefs, but with her conservative husband and his friends and family that share the same opinions?
Well, I sort of grew up with gay people around me. Literally. When I was a kid, the house just east of ours housed a gay couple. I have fuzzy memories of them, but when you're a kid you don't think anything's strange about the things adults find strange. Mr. Gardner said it the best; when he was a kid growing up in (I think) Chicago, he never noticed skin color. I never thought it was unusual to have two men living together next door. It's not until you're older that those things kind of hit you.
The couple next to us, Bo, and his partner, were some of the nicest people I have memories of. Both of my parents really liked them, and in turn, they really liked us. They really thought I was a fun kid, and they were always really nice to me. They never tried to convert any of us to gayness. In fact, their behavior was really very appropriate. I distinctly remember them giving me a piece of candy one time, and my mom telling me to say thank-you.
In other words, they were just people. And they were good people, at that.
From then on, I have always had gay friends. In high school, the gay people I knew and were friends with were some of the most talented, kindest, funniest, sweetest people I have met anywhere. And they still are! I won't name names, but one of them can dance like nobody else I've ever seen, and he'd never had any dance training before coming to the high school. One of them is the genuinely nicest guy I've ever known, and he should really have attended Westminster because I miss him. One of them never fails to make me smile and lives his own life with verve.
And now, in college, I've made even more gay friends. Air, who I worked with in my professor's office this year, is still one of the funniest, smartest people I've met to date. And I've made plenty of straight ally friends too, LDS and otherwise.
However, as with any political or social stance, not everyone is bound to agree with you. And that's tough. It really is. The number one political fight Tanner and I have had most often concerns gay marriage. And I've been in disagreements about the issue of gay marriage and couples that really hurt and upset people on both sides. I don't ever want to judge someone about their own personal and political views, and I seriously hate upsetting people and getting into those disagreements. But I'm not going to just change my views because someone else doesn't like them, and I wouldn't expect others to change their views just because I might not agree with them. It works both ways. I respect you; you respect me. Hopefully, we'll agree to disagree and look past our differences to remain friends.
One of the most relieving things for me that has happened recently are the LDS "It gets better" videos. One of them was done by students at the church-affiliated school Brigham Young University, and the second was done by just ordinary church members.The growing LDS support and love for the LGBT community really warms my heart.
If you haven't already, please watch these videos. PLEASE. I don't care if you're liberal or conservative, please watch them.
My job as a human being and as a daughter of God is to love my fellow men and women, whether they are black, white, tan, gay, straight, religious, atheist, liberal, conservative, or purple. I want to be a judgement-free person simply because it's not my place. I don't know the journeys other individuals have been on. I only know my own journey and what's in my own heart, so I'll just try to focus on that and how I can be a better person. Heaven knows I'm not perfect, but I always want to try to be kind, loving, and open-minded.
And if you disagree with anything I've said, please know I still love you and I hope you can look past my views and stay friends with me. If I have offended, it was unintentional.
But my gay friends are people, and they deserve happiness in their lives JUST as much as any straight person. And they deserve to know that God loves them. And, if they don't believe in God, they need to know that I love them, and that lots of other people love them for who they are, and they want them to be happy.
To me, that's elementary.
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