When it comes to first kisses, late is better than never, right?

The paramount moment of any teenaged girl's life is probably her first kiss. Well, at least that's probably the most pleasant of paramount moments.

I remember vividly the first time I realized I was going to get kissed. Let me draw you the setting:

Scene: A High School Acting Class. Location: The aptly nicknamed "Little Theatre" at Highland High School. Participants: One Hilary Forbush, 18, and one Austin Hurd, 15 or 16.

Yep. My first kiss was a stage kiss during a class. I was fully 18 years old, nearly graduated from high school, and I had never been kissed until that moment. My teacher basically drew straws for who was going to perform the Balcony Scene from Romeo and Juliet that day, and, as if that day wasn't stressful enough for me already (I was mounting the piece I had been directing for MONTHS for my very difficult directing class) and so of course it was my luck to get my first kiss on the most stressful day of my life up to that point.

That day=the day I snapped. My friend, Lia, thinks I was the most confident I'd ever been in high school that day, and she'd be right. I was so tired and everything was just out there, bare on the table for everyone to see, including my previously Virgin Lips, that I just didn't care what anyone thought. I was who I was, and I sure as hell wasn't apologizing for it.

The kiss itself was fine, but the funniest bit was when my teacher tried to illustrate a note for the pair of us by saying,

"You know how sometimes kisses just happen?"

Without missing a beat or batting a lash I said, "Nope."

That caused some laughs, but the truth of the matter was I really didn't. It's not that I hadn't wanted to be kissed before then, it's just that either a) I was never attractive enough or b) I was always just in the wrong place at the wrong time or c) part of me wanted to wait for the right person to make it REALLY SPECIAL.

Depending on my mood, I most often subscribe to A or C. I have had friends that kissed as early as 14. My mom's first kiss happened when she was 12 (sorry Mom, I'm outing you). So, the logical conclusions are A or C.

Or, B part 2, I always liked the wrong guys, and it had nothing to do with my attractiveness. My mom, who you might feel is biased, always said that guys were intimidated by my intelligence.

My first off-stage kiss was special, especially at the time, but 'tis a little uncomfortable now that the other party is now an ex boyfriend and I am married. So the less said about that the better.

But here's the real truth of the matter. I cannot see kisses as casual things. I can't do it. I've tried (only in my head, not actually on another person), but I could never make myself have a NCMO (assuming that there was someone who wanted to NCMO me in the first place). In theory, handing out kisses like party favors or bubble gum sounded like fun before Tanner and I started dating.

Maybe it's Jane Austen's fault. But to me, a kiss has always stated pure emotional involvement. I think in some ways it's good no one tried to put the moves on me before I was 18, because frankly, I was not mature enough to be kissed beforehand. When I really thought about it at the age of 15 or 16, the idea of someone kissing me was actually a little scary. It meant trusting that person enough to let them get close enough to me and my emotional wall that I put up for safety. In high school, or middle school, I didn't know anyone of the opposite gender that I trusted to that level.

Well, ok, there was ONE boy. But that's a whole other story about unrequited shiznit, and it was a mess.

:)

I'm definitely not one of those people that subscribes to the "no kissing anyone EVER until you're married to them!" I think figuring out if you're actually physically as well as intellectually attracted to that person is important BEFORE you marry them.

I'm not the only one in my family that's more or less been a late bloomer where first kisses are concerned. My cousin Sarah only just recently received her first kiss and she's 20. Another cousin is 19 and she hasn't kissed anyone yet, as far as I know. And they're both unbelievably gorgeous girls and any guy who gets to kiss them is a lucky guy.

I dunno. I dunno why some people have kissed 20 people and some others have only kissed 2. It can sort of be discouraging for a girl if they're upwards of 18 and haven't been kissed. For some stupid societal reason, it most often seems to reflect back on her looks. Which is stupid. Look at Tina Fey. She was a virgin until she was 24 and no one would dare say she's not hot, funny or awesome. She's a veritable rock star among comedians. AND she's pretty.

I don't mind, though, that I've only kissed two people offstage. Tanner enjoys that fact about me; it sounds cheesy but it makes him feel like I'm more "his." And really, it's not a bad thing to wait. I remember reading a Tina Fey quote (which I can't seem to find) which went something on the lines of, "let boys kiss all the stupid girls and get all their stupidity out, and then by the time they come to you as smarter human beings, you'll actually WANT to kiss them."

On a positive note, then,

Thank you, Aaron Sorkin.

& that's elementary.